4 Ways to Take Control of Your Suffering

Suffering comes in many forms and is unique in each of our experiences. It is easy to hear Buddha’s core tenet that “All life is suffering” but to fully embody the compassion for this world’s suffering is the path of an enlightened one who serves the world with unconditional love. Great Masters endure immense suffering to demonstrate this to us as models of what we each can become. Are you ready to release your suffering?

The day when my perspective on suffering shifted is etched vividly in my memory. As I watched a David Attenborough documentary on African wildlife, I witnessed the brutal cycle of life - animals killing, starving, and dying. The profound suffering in nature struck me deeply. However, what stood out more was the animals' ability to rebound, shake off the pain, and revel in life’s joy during peaceful moments.

This was after my 25 years of depression and anxiety, with several suicidal ideation episodes and panic attacks, I was a suffering addict - my suffering belief was that I was alive; life was for suffering. But this moment was an embodied shift in opening to Buddha’s tenet.

Step 1: Acknowledging the Universality of Suffering

Suffering is an undeniable reality, a thread woven into the fabric of existence. Each of us bears our unique burdens, our personal lessons to learn. Drawing comparisons between our suffering and that of others is an exercise in futility. Every individual is on their distinct path, and comparisons only fuel judgment and the critical mind, giving the ego undue control.

Indulging in the shadows of our own suffering whilst witnessing another in pain impedes our ability to be of genuine service. This includes stopping our ability to be empathetic, kind and helpful to another living being.

BE FREE FROM JUDGMENT. RELINQUISH YOUR FEARS. ACCEPT SUFFERING IS JUST A PART OF EXISTING.

Breaking free from judgment is paramount. Shedding the weight of comparison and accepting suffering as an intrinsic part of existence is liberating. This involves relinquishing the grip of the ego, that part of ourselves that thrives on keeping us small and confined. Only by freeing ourselves from judgment can we extend authentic support to those navigating their own trials.

Some people tell me that there is no need for forgiveness, only acceptance, often these are high intellectuals. What they are hopping past is that they are in a human emotional body - their minds judge and hold opinions. It is these opinions, beliefs and judgments that require forgiveness.

If in doubt, say the mantra “I forgive myself completely”. Do not consider what or why you forgive, just do it and allow the changes to happen.

Step 2: Suffering as a Choice

Despite the hardships of human evolution and the struggles embedded in our history, modern-day life, paradoxically, offers more time and freedom. Yet, mental health challenges have surged. Buddha's wisdom, dating back over 2,500 years, asserted that suffering is a conscious choice, irrespective of the physical difficulties of life.

Taking responsibility for our reactions to life events is key. Transforming how we experience life hinges on our choices, not on external circumstances and whether we get what we want.

Ask yourself: “How am I choosing to experience this moment?”

Step 3: The Impermanence of All Things

Understanding that nothing is permanent and that we own nothing is a powerful realization. Recognizing that all things, including suffering and the lack of what we do not have, will pass. This brings us back to the present moment - the only moment that truly exists.

Remind yourself: “This too shall pass”.

Step 4: Ruminating in the Past: A Detour to Healing

Depression resides in the past, anxiety in the future, and happiness in the present. While some therapeutic approaches delve into the past, revisiting and rehashing suffering, alternative methods emphasize healing through the physical body and nervous system - this is EMBODIMENT.

Through embodiment we are invited to experience the past in our body full and allow it to move through the body to completion. There are often stages of completion and this is the healing journey.

Get Embodied Support: If therapy is your preference, look for practitioners that use embodiment practices e.g. EMDR or Gestalt Therapy. Join Clarity Breathwork somatic movement practices to start to help you feel safe in your body to experience these feelings.

Step 5: Escape the Victim Mindset

A victim "a person who has come to feel helpless and passive in the face of misfortune or ill-treatment." The key in the words 'come to feel'. When we recognise that we control how we feel in each moment then we can understand that emotions are a choice. This choice is what changes our lives - our karma.

Suffering becomes a point of connection, a shared ground where compassion can flourish. However, dwelling in suffering with others through complaining, sharing opinions on how others can be better; instead, it's about guiding and supporting and hearing another’s pain, will allow individual paths to open and someone to follow their own intuitive wisdom.

Take control of the belief that you have no control or power. Your power is your choice to perceive things differently and choose another feeling - what feels good right now?

Walking Your Unique Path

Each person's journey is distinct, guided by personal philosophies or frameworks like the Buddhist 8-fold path or the Law of Attraction. Whether you find solace in the simplicity of self-compassion or the structured guidance of a specific path, the choice is yours. My Luminous Life program is a transformative journey where clients rediscover positivity, calmness, presence, and fulfillment.

To explore whether the Luminous Life program aligns with your needs, book a free 30-minute call with me. The path to awakening, as Buddha envisioned in the 8-fold path, begins when we release our suffering. Taking control and choosing ease in our lives is the key to unlocking our true potential.

book your clarity call now