Trust in business can be a challenge for holistic entrepreneurs and lightworkers. Trust in another is not about trusting them to know you and what you want and to uphold this, but trust others to be themselves and act in consistency with their (egoic) nature.  

This story first was told in 2017 after I assisted a retreat owner with her newly built center. 

My new community of yogis and spiritual healers are trusting and open people; they do not enjoy the 'lawyer' approach to relationships. I came across a lot of these 'fall-outs' in London teaching in yoga and pilates studios. I met many sufferers of head injuries whose relationships disintegrate because they cannot see the world beyond their painful lens, which masks their own true alignment at times. Whichever space you are in - business or personal - trust is pertinent to our relationships going smoothly. 

In discussing construction work issues with a yogi I highly respect where the construction was not going as agreed, I relaised that the concept of 'trust' is often misplaced when we mean 'trust others'. 

No person perceives the same reality as another. This means that when we 'trust another' on an identical outcome it may not become the reality. This does not mean you cannot trust others but means that when one of you is not aligned with your inner voice it is more likely that the realities will not match the supposed discussions. 

As a former lawyer, I knew that you could trust others to look out for their own interests first regardless of the transaction. A lawyer is trained to act in the best interests of their client above a win-win situation. The training is win-lose. 

I knew my client's interests and always represented those to my best withstanding ethical rules. I also understood that there are many ways to interpret words depending on your perspective - that's what makes litigation a career! The intention of meaning can be genuine when it comes from another perspective, so although you may think you're both aligned, no two sides ever see things the same way regardless of the great intentions meant at the outset of the relationship. When things don't pan out as expected these differing perspectives appear and wordplay ensues, people feel that trust is broken.

TRUST WORKS AS FOLLOWS:

Trust not the words said, but feel the alignment in your heart of what you want; then change your lens and perceive as the other. Be open, patient and accept another's view of reality. If both remain aligned then from that place your realities can meet together and trust is established. If either their or your alignment is not present, trust may feel challenged. 

If you do not know how to change your perspective, then do Byron Katie’s “The Work” for her turn arounds. This will teach you to perceive the world through the opposite lens. 

HOW DOES THIS WORK IN PRACTICE?

1. What do you really want?
2. Is what you want truly good for you?
3. Convey from your heart the words of what you want to the other person.
4. Listen to their words, but more importantly watch their body language. Can you feel their honesty?
5. Take a step back and consider that if you were them, what would you want from this situation? What is in their interest? Play with their alternative perceptions of reality from yours and pretend you're another person!
6. Then review the words and body language and see if they match.
7. Continue to do this as the relationship unfolds. The more you get to know them the more you can play with the perceptions.

RULE OF THUMB:

If the relationship is deteriorating then trust your inner voice to tell you what the other side truly wants and needs from the situation. Trust the other person to do what is in their own interest and trust yourself that you can see it from their side, and do what is in your interest. Importantly, trust your own self and knowledge to enable you to trust others more honestly.

Remember: Their intention could be full of love and kindness, but the viewing place was a perception you would not have considered at the outset. Maintain your alignment and be patient to shift perspective.

If you are in a challenging relationship or your business has begun collaborating with others, then get in touch with me to discuss how to take them to the next level! 

Join me for a FREE 20 minute chat about your business relationship. 

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