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THE EGO AND I: Less drama and Goals, More Space and Abundance

embody Jun 15, 2022

The path towards a luminous life or at least a more fully lived life, is to allow life to live through us more and to let the ego take more of a backseat. During a 5 month deep dive into my egoic tendencies, I discovered 5 key questions to dance with the ego. Discover them and the path of discovery below. 


Eckhart Tolle’s book ‘A New Earth’ is so clear in explaining the role of the ego and discovering our life purpose. As Ramana Maharishi says “The only way to find your true Self is to look inwards at the ‘I’, or ego.” 

I set an intention that my time in Vassiliki in 2017 was to work upon my ego. I would address my complaining, fault-finding ways and make genuine connections with people in a transient ‘seasonaire’ world, and face several of my fears.


Made in Vassiliki


I often said that working a summer season in Vassiliki, Greece, was like living in ‘Made in Chelsea’ or some other reality series with the gossip, role-playing, and life dramas rampant.  The draw of my old self to get involved, and try to ‘help’ these suffering people noticed how my energy became drained and my mood lowered. My ego would begin to make up stories in my mind about my life and my mind was busy.


On a break, I returned to my old English home in Whitstable where I sat on the beach and saw how I repeated the same pattern of living in a ‘bubble’. These beautiful, magical places that draw people seeking peace and joy, such giant hearts yet egos run rampant and the ‘bubble’ everyone is contained within creates this unhealthy cycle of endless dramas. 


I had never thought I was a ‘dramatic’ person, but I could see how I chose to create dramas in my life – a busy mind of negative chat, complaining with others, being caught up in the small things and the use of roles and labels to define my old self. We can so easily be caught up in conversations that do not support our growth. Be mindful of ‘small town’ chats that can generate drama. 


Gratitude and Abundance


The Mediterranean is beautiful and my eyes always saw the rosy hue of Greece.  The stunning clear blue waters for seeing depths of the sea I never would have dared face before, welcome and glisten magic to me.  But the land is full of dramas, the Greek tragedies and suffering – abundant egos of Greek Gods that spread through the energy of the land.


For me personally, the jungle is more the ecosystem that my energy resonates best.  The vibrancy, severe desolation of the wet season and abundance bring gratitude for the simple joy of life. Often I would miss the jungle as I meditated in the mountains, yet being aware of gratitude to Vassiliki broadened my gratitude to this magical planet.  


Even when in a situation or place that does not make the heart flourish, each place and moment is special. Tap into the location’s nature - colour, textures, how life manages to move through it and feel its vibration bring gifts in abundance to you.


Carving Space


My work deepened my awareness of my energetic sensitivity, empathic awareness and Clair skills.  Living in a bubble, can mean it is very challenging to manage what I pick up from others and what is my own ego.  


To maintain a sense of equanimity, I chose to spend my mornings alone: move, meditate, read and watch the mountains – ground, check-in with my body and Self to know what was me. Then if my mood suddenly changed in the day I could be aware of if it was something I had picked up from another. At times this was challenging and the negative self-hate voice would reassert herself, but rather than entertain or judge her, I would leave her alone and she would quieten.


After-work check-in was vital to release the energies of the day – a meditation, perhaps fascia release or strong yoga practice. The commitment was not to a physical practice, but to an energetic balancing of my inner Self.  To undertake whatever steps required to keep equanimity from the unraveling dramas surrounding me.


To release and accept my fears rather than question them removed the story and in turn, the fear.  To embrace my blossoming energetic skills and enjoy the ‘strange’ experiences I encounter. I discovered the enormous space in my mind, that peace and a calm deep within me that can keep me steady when I feel my ego take a grip.


Through maintaining a consistent self-care practice it is easier to know what is your own needs and those of others. When we have this awareness, we can ease into what is. Accept what is present. Allow it to blossom and change. 


Goals and Planning


I am a Master Manifestor - we all are! Yet, my goals always came with a price. I actively stopped investing energy into the specifics of achieving goals.  Connections formed that enabled my goals to manifest in unexpected ways, for example, my half desire to have a windsurfing lesson was not from my efforts to plan or arrange with a colleague, but naturally arose from another instructor at a dinner with a kind offer to share their love of windsurfing with me.  This approach to allowing things to unfold endlessly surprised me in Vassiliki.


It was very easy as people asked about my next steps to let the ego anxiety take a grip.  I would find myself researching places or how I could get work somewhere else – what if I do not have the money to eat? Then I would hear others having this discussion. 


I took my own advice - I stopped planning if I felt stressed.  When the step felt good I would know to follow it, I could be motivated to take the necessary actions without effort and frustration at the workload required. Perceptibly less work and more space in my mind, even though I was in physical time busy with work and more present in the delivery of my work. The removal of the ego’s anxiety about failure allows your Divine Self to flow through you for more joyful experiences.




As an ‘intuitive guide’, any class plan or preparation I do falls away because my presence during the class removes my ability to follow what was in my past – the class plan!  To know the energy I feel from others and how to not make it my own requires the full presence of where in the room it comes from, and which person holds that sensation. Then at the end of the class, I can ‘return to sender’ the energy of the class and individuals in this wrap-up.


My time in Vassiliki required a different depth of self-work.  Awareness of my ego and its guises, I welcomed my gifts to heal and work with energy.  A new value for how to nurture myself, avoid dramas and be grateful.  


May these lessons share ways to discover your own Self and joyful life too.


Meet Your Ego Questions


  1. Where is your drama? E.g. your fears, complaining, your role-playing or seeking to control
  2. Be grateful for the abundant offerings around your
  3. Get present in the moment
  4. Create space for yourself with check-ins, regularly throughout the day
  5. Set Goals and Be Free from them! They will work themselves out


Watch the Drama


Treat your life like you are watching a movie.

  • How do you feel when you watch a movie? Does your entire sense of Being become swallowed into the movie as though it is your life experiencing it? Or do you just watch it like an observer of a study?
  • What if it is a documentary, does that change your experience – closer or more removed from you?
  • What happens when it is to someone you care about? Are you more drawn into the story?
  • Allow the emotions to come through you and leave them as passing experiences, just like in the movies.
  • Recall life experiences like a movie e.g. a poor experience is best left alone, don’t revisit it by telling the story again and again. You wouldn’t watch a movie again if you thought it rubbishes.


Do you want further support for your life path? 

We may be similar, you tend to do your self-work alone and navigate your path through different traditions. Support through the discovery of new gifts, and a kind hand to hold you to account can be a huge shift for easing through the changes your heart seeks. 


Book a Clarity Call with me and let’s see how you can receive the support that you deserve. 

Originally published September 2017 on 


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Nids Nidra acknowledges the Traditional Owners of country throughout Australia and recognises their continuing connection to land, waters and community. We pay our respect to them and their cultures; and to Custodians past, present and emerging.


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