Each week discover something new about wellbeing, business or the use of alchemy to change your life with my blog posts. I share personal experiences and proven research with tips for you to try out.


7 Steps for Deepening Self Love

consulting May 11, 2022

Take the time to discover the ways in which you love yourself, truly. 

For those in spiritual business, there is a continuous cycle of healing and deepening into self-love to expand our hearts and be of greater service. As we step up in our business it often brings up the little voices of our ego of self-doubt and judgment. The history of persecution, especially for women spiritual workers, is very real in our epigenetics. Discover the 7 steps for deepening self-love so you may bring your best service to your people. 


Marianne Williamson speaking on Oprah Winfrey suggested that self-love is not spiritual because it is not allowing Spirit to flow through you and to be of service to humanity. This is truth but misses a key step for many on the spiritual path to serving humanity. Many of us do not have any self-worth or self-esteem so we do not know how to serve from a full cup. We must learn what it is to love ourselves to serve humanity fully. This is challenged as we step up in our being of service. 

Take the time to discover the ways in which you love yourself, truly.


Levelling Up

Each time you level up in your business whether it is announce a new launch, running a new event or visiting another city to deliver the new work you have created those self-doubts will rise up. This is natural when you ask yourself - How to create interest in your work? What to call yourself? It is time for imposter syndrome and self-esteem issues. 


In 2018, I was asked to deliver a Self Love Day Retreat in Los Angeles. I had not visited Los Angeles since 1996 and had no local client following. I was invited to call myself an 'international teacher and healer' which was true given my international award-winning retreats work but my self-esteem reared its head and devalued my work. To embrace the suggestions by others of what to call myself was a challenge but gave me a place to step into. 


The key, as these doubts rise up, is to step outside of yourself and into the audience that you are moving towards. Ask locals or prospective clients for their opinions. Listen to the guidance that is offered by other professionals. Receive support as you step up so you can do so more easily. 

Embrace the loving perceptions others give you and take ownership of them.

Design in Self-Love

We each have our own creative processes but we can become unstuck when we are concerned about how others may judge us. This can arise by being asked questions that we are not experienced or qualified to answer. 


Preparing for my Los Angeles day retreat, I felt these worries of comparison and judgment rise up LA is full of amazing teachers! What would people think of me? How was I unique? What made me appealing to locals? 

Acknowledge that this self-doubt is normal and give yourself a hug. Then set aside the doubt as this is a sign to prepare and do your homework - intellectually, emotionally and energetically. Ask: 

How could I deepen my lessons to bring them to the day? 

How can I hold space for them when I may be triggered? 

What do I need before, during and after to stay in my best state?

Create the structure and plan, placing the content. 

Be practical and realistic about your knowledge and the time frames. 

Then tap into the energy of the event and can feel the flow of the day.  

 Self-love always begins with self-compassion. 

Landing Into Love

Preparation for your levelling up is vital. You must ensure that you maintain your full self-love up throughout your preparations. Schedule your preparations for plenty of alone time, connecting time and gentle conversations with any colleagues or collaborators. 


When I arrived in Los Angeles I met my friend who provided me with plenty of loving food and drinks. As we relaxed we moved to matters of function and detail - who was coming, what were their needs, how we would work together and what the details were of the food and activities. This is functional but also key to reassuring each of us that we are within our comfort zones. 


Before the space is used take the time to set it up energetically. Bring ceremonial items and bless the space. Even if you are delivering online make your own space-loving, open and defined to share in a sacred way. 

 Define a space for you that nourishes you fully: the feeling that your inner child gets a hug. 

Open Your Heart Inward

There are many protocols around how to create a safe space. I have attended some events where late comers are strictly unwelcome to not disrupt the safety of attendees. If the leader is nervous about the stepping up, then this can be felt by the group and so introductions are useful to settle all.


A spiritual master creates a safe space before anyone arrives through their intention in preparation. The attendees will feel this and can be held in their worries so that they then relax into the presence of the leader. Ensure that you have taken the time to come to this state before your clients arrive.


This is to remove the ‘roles’ that we carry around and stories that we may jump into. Spiritual work is a delving inward to discover often disregarded feelings from deep within. Those feelings that we run and hide from in our 'busy' lives. By moving the group into activities before words are spoken we shift the state of being into the key work. 


There are times when introductions are vital to create a safe space especially when speaking and sharing through words. Clear instructions about the words to share are important to bring people inwards.

  Opening your heart is to yourself, and then the world follows.

Love is a Magical Story

We connect through story. It is useful to structure the telling of stories in spiritual work to add value to the teachings for students. Use of your own story is a way to relate and introduce the deeper aspects of your work. The key to telling your own story is from a place of love that holds emotion but not so much that you cannot control your feelings and it shifts you out of your holding state. 


The characters that we create represent key relationships in our lives and how we perceive them. The unfolding of the story is our view on our struggles in life and the outcome the joy we are permitted to live in eternally. Choose your story for the group, theme and your personal mastery of your ability to relay it without drama. This models the teaching and empowers the students to do the same. 

 Save your story until it is infused fully with compassion for the greatest good. 

Mirrors Reflect Back Love

 We surround ourselves with our reflections. It is why when we make a significant shift in our life towards a higher vibration, we have to say farewell to some. Our minds are wired to focus on the negative and not hear the positive feedback. 


Ensure that you ask and receive feedback from your clients. Then you can return and reflect on it frequently. See how you grow and can improve, but also where your skills consistently appear. What the words are that your clients keep repeating throughout. 


Use the reflections from others to recognise what you already have and how you can grow. Use this language to market your business and bring more clients to your future work. 

 When someone compliments you, say 'thank you' and allow it in. 

Loving Eyes

We can be aware that we are stuck or have more inner work to do when we cannot stop telling our story; then it is time to see the story through another character's eyes. A character that loves us unconditionally. 


Many healers and spiritual business owners are highly sensitive - empaths some are called or nurturers, mothering, healer, etc. These are all people we perceive as giving to others. Such generous givers can find it hard to receive love, especially to give it to themselves. This is where I disagree with Marianne Williamson about self-work. 


As all safety precautions warn us, take care of yourself before others. We must embrace self-love to set boundaries that respect what we need. We must ask for support and receive it fully. Only in this place of being full of love can we offer support and love to others for healthy relationships, and be of our highest service. 


Before you tell a story, stop. Tell the story in a way that makes you feel nourished and loved. 


If you want to dive deeper into being supported in your business growth, then check out the Spiritual Business Portal. This is a community that is pragmatic and realistic with a deep spiritual understanding of your process and service. 


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Nids Nidra acknowledges the Traditional Owners of country throughout Australia and recognises their continuing connection to land, waters and community. We pay our respect to them and their cultures; and to Custodians past, present and emerging.


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